A fresh start (at the right time)

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could see this time of the year, the Spring Equinox, as the beginning of something? If we, as conditioned as we are to see January as the time to make resolutions and to begin new ways and habits, could cast that false start to one side?

Many of us push and force our way into the beginning of the year trying to ‘get through’ winter and berating ourselves for not ‘getting more done’. How much pressure we put on ourselves that this will be the year when we do this or that. It really can be like trying to make water run uphill.

By the time Spring comes around, we might actually feel exhausted and it’s not really surprising, when we think about it. Everything about the first cold months of the year asks for comfort, warmth, nurturing and quietness. The potential growth is under way and that is taking immense effort, but a lot of it is unseen or small. We wrap ourselves deeply in our clothes and and yet still ask for, and call upon ourselves to be ‘out there’. I know, because I do it too.

Over the years, I’ve grown to love January, as I’ve mentioned here before, because I consciously remember to revel in the quieter social life, the early nights with a pile of books to be enjoyed, the hot chocolate, the favourite blankets and candles. Of course, I am still working and doing all of the many things that life requires, but in my downtime, I sink into it, fully, as often as I can.

But this February, I started to grow impatient, as if the turn of the calendar from one month to the next should equal a night-to-day change. (I still have a lot to learn!)

I started expecting more of myself - immediately. Things were happening, but they felt effortful and tiring. This is pressure we put on ourselves because that’s what we have been taught to do, to always be functioning at the same level (high) all year round 7 days of the week, 8 if we can manage it. Even with all of my years of learning and more recently, really questioning convention and conditioning, I fell into it.

The reason I am sharing all of this with you now is because I recognised in the past week that I genuinely felt a clear change come over me.

I wasn’t needing to push or force in the same way. Things felt somewhat easier and a litle more manageable.

I had the energy to start a Spring clean after an absolute dearth of inspiration for any household task that wasn’t absolutely necessary and immediately in front of me.

I started to use a skin brush again after a long time of not even noticing it hanging on the back of my bathroom door.

I naturally turned my shower to cold at the end without even thinking about it, which I had all but abandoned in the coldest months.

The energy was there. It was as if the road had levelled out somewhat.

So if you have been beating yourself up for the past three months about ‘letting the year slip by’, could this time feel like a fresh sheet of paper? Could you metaphorically shake the dust from your shoulders and see NOW as the time to begin afresh? Maybe you can even feel how your body responds to that idea..

Doesn't it feel good?..