When things don't go as planned..

Like many people who are selling and buying a home, I have found myself on a testing rollercoaster that has included all sorts of emotions and stresses these past months. At this moment, I am in a liminal space, a place between things where nothing is certain. I have no control over what's next. 

Over the years, I have worked on acceptance, the opposite of control. I know that for many people, this feels very uncomfortable, but that is only because we mistake acceptance for weakness or passivity or defeatism or giving up. It's none of these. It's that moment when you have done all of the things that you can think of. That moment when you've asked all the questions.

Usually at that point, your body is also communicating with you. It might be the tight knot right under your rib cage. It might be your heart racing and your palms sweating. It might be tightness in your jaw and being unable to take a deep breath. It might look like you shouting, demanding, being irritable or aggressive.

Acceptance is the point when you let yourself hear on a deep level, on a body level 'I've done what I can for now'. It's the point when you take a step back and see a bigger picture than the intensely narrow focus that you've been holding.

And often, so often, into that space drops something else.  It might be what you hoped for, it might not. But in that quieter, more expanded space, you may see another pathway, another perspective, the next step. And it's so, so much kinder to your precious body. 

If there is an area in your life right now where you are wrestling, agonising or pushing, can you step back, even just for some moments? Can you look through a different lens? Can you exercise more compassion? Can you lay down blame and anger and self-righteousness and indignation and frustration? Can you pause, just for a breath? What if it wasn’t all down to you?

Now, tune into your body. Maybe your shoulders have dropped just a fraction.

Can you take a slow breath out?

Now, ask yourself, what would you do differently if you started from this place today?