Can you prioritise joy?

A few years ago, I was part of an 6-month online group course and one of the other participants was a coach. There was something about her that came bursting through, even online. She radiated a kind of zest and lust for life that I wanted more of in my own life. I wanted to bottle that energy!

When, six months later, a big life change appeared for me, I knew exactly who I wanted to help me to navigate it. I didn't need a serious or practical business coach, or someone gentle and peaceful, I needed someone that would teach me to prioritise JOY. 

Once we had teased out the things that brought me joy my coach really encouraged me to look at my diary and to plan joy into my life as a priority. She helped me to see that joy shouldn’t be the ‘nice-to-have’, it wasn’t shoe-horned in if it could be managed, it was central to how I to chose to live my life. And I didn’t need to feel guilty about it.

There’s a lovely quote that reminds us that the decisions we make about this hour becomes how we spend our day; every choice we make about this day becomes how we spend our week; every way we live our weeks becomes how we live our months and eventually how we spend our months becomes how we spend our lives. I know that this could feel a bit anxiety inducing, and if it does, please know that the message of this quote is really that we can change everything about how the rest of our precious life will unfold, simply by making a different choice today.

We can wait for things to get better and we can wait for things to change. But my belief is that we have our own power, our own agency to change things cumulatively, gradually, when we say yes to joy and know that’s what we are doing. When we actively, consciously tell ourselves that when we prioritise a yoga class in our week, or whatever it is that you love, you can shine more, give more, share more. You give permission to others around you, without even having to say anything, to live from a better place too. You radiate a kind of positivity because you don’t feel put-upon, taken for granted or over-worked, because there is something for you in every day. It truly might be as simple as walking somewhere, even though it’s quicker and more practical to drive, simply because you get to pass a favourite tree. (Please note, ‘quicker’ and ‘practical’ might be more efficient, but they can also be the very opposite to joy).

So, alongside my school pick-ups and dishwasher emptying and my scheduled work and my emails and cooking and washing and all the other things that we all HAVE to do, I now HAVE to do joy. And often those things that bring me joy are simple and often they are free. They just make me feel good. And I do them that way, simply because they do. I don’t need to have a reason, the feeling good is the reason. And this is true even if things are falling around you, if you feel lost, confused or hopeless. Even more so then. Hand over hand, with the quest for joy as your rope, you can haul yourself out of the darker times.

So, if any part of this resonates, I urge you to look at your diary and make appointments with yourself for this stuff. Literally diarise it even if it feels a bit indulgent to start with. Remind yourself that you don’t actually need to deserve to feel good, or even earn it. Feeling good makes you more productive anyway. Start small, but please, start. And you will spread that joy.